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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has long been the reliable retreat of your Daily, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and historic moments, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to learn that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles possesses a urinal decorated with West Brom motifs at his home. Spare a thought about the Tykes follower who took the rest room a little too literally, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium following dozing off in the toilet midway through a 2015 losing match by Fleetwood. “His footwear was missing and had lost his mobile phone and his hat,” elaborated an official from the local fire department. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity at Manchester City, the controversial forward entered a community college for toilet purposes back in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, then came in and was asking the location of the toilets, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told the Manchester Evening News. “Later he simply strolled round the campus acting like the owner.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit as England manager post a quick discussion inside a lavatory booth together with Football Association official David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, after the notorious 1-0 loss by Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the legendary venue. According to Davies' personal account, his private Football Association notes, he entered the drenched beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams “fired up”, both players begging for the official to reason with Keegan. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies located him seated – reminiscent of his 1996 Liverpool behavior – in the dressing room corner, muttering: “I'm done. I can't handle this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to salvage the situation.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with the national coach while athletes jumped in the pool. Just a single choice remained. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Dragging Kevin into a cubicle, I shut the door behind us. We stood there, facing each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

Consequently, Keegan quit, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The two-time European Footballer of the Year stated: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's a tremendously tough role.” English football has come a long way during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, while a German now sits in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This specific commemoration from one of England's worst moments serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Current Reports

Follow Luke McLaughlin at 8pm UK time for Women's major tournament coverage concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Quote of the Day

“We remained in an extended queue, in just our underwear. We were the continent's finest referees, premier athletes, inspirations, mature people, mothers and fathers, resilient characters with great integrity … but no one said anything. We scarcely made eye contact, our eyes shifted somewhat anxiously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina inspected us completely with a freezing stare. Silent and observant” – former international referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What’s in a name? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. So is that the end of the club’s Steve obsession? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to manage the main squad. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and provided some branded items, I've opted to write and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou claims he started conflicts in the school playground with kids he knew would beat him up. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I will always be grateful for the second-season trophy however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the Championship and that would be some struggle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|